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The Mad Tea-Party Political Affiliation Test

by Jonathon Dalton

This is a user-written personality test created with the Personality Test Generator. Rum and Monkey isn't responsible for its content, however good or bad it may be.

The online comic A Mad Tea-Party takes place in a future world where the political landscape is a little more complicated than red state / blue state. What with aliens, genetic engineering, and grumblings of civil war, it can easily do a person's head in- unless you take this test to determine once and for all which faction you belong in!

What are your parents like?

Pretty great, actually.

They're okay as long as we don't talk about politics. They just don't understand.

My parents were a test tube and an over-excited scientist.

They're a bit annoying, really.

They're like for sale, if you're interested.

How do you feel about hats?

Hats are the latest trend. All the cool kids have one.

Hats mess up my hair.

They're a good thing to have when it rains, I suppose.

They're a must-have when you're out in space. BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO ASPHYXIATE!

I'm wearing one right now.

What kind of car do you drive?

Car? I'd be lucky to have a bicycle.

A cheap one retro-fitted to run on gasoline.

One that's good for the environment.

A flying Mitsubishi.

I don't need a car. I have a spaceship, yo.

What are your views on religion?

Religion is the opiate of the masses.

I suppose it's okay, if that's the sort of thing you're into.

It's an important part of Earth's heritage.

My religion is very important to me.

My religion is very important to me. I especially like the bits with the violence.

Multinational corporations are...

Great. I'll take a dozen, please.

A necessity in a free market society.

Not as beneficial to society as small business.

The scourge of humanity. The workers control the means of production.

I'M the scourge of humanity.

What did you have for dinner yesterday?

Sashimi.

Something alien. You wouldn't recognize it.

A delicious steak with pasta.

Chocolate cake! Just kidding. That's only what I wish I had.

Instant noodles. And I was lucky to get that.

How often do you vote?

Always. I'll vote in other countries' elections when I can get away with it, too.

I'll vote in the important elections, but I could care less who the mayor is.

Never. I just don't have time.

Never. Voting won't make a difference anyways. We need a revolution!

What is this "vote" of which you speak?

The endangered panda...

Is not my problem.

Should be rescued, but not at the expense of the economy.

Sure is cute, anyways.

Is as important to the planet as you or me.

Was delicious, thanks.

Are you a nationalist?

I love my country.

We need a world without borders or flags.

I like my country, but there are other nice countries too.

It's time we ask, not what can I do for my country, but what my country can do for me.

Death to all humans!

How do you feel about baseball?

I don't have time for sports.

Erm... basketball is more exciting.

Baseball is only the single greatest game ever invented!

What is this "baseball" of which you speak?

Death to all humans!

What about taxes?

Taxes pay for essential social programs.

I'll pay them, but I sure hope they don't go any higher.

Low taxes lead to a stronger economy.

Don't you have to have a job before you care about taxes?

Death to all humans!

Death to all humans?

Yes!

No!

Only the ones I don't like. Heh-heh.

Depends. What's in it for me?

Death to all ALIENS. How 'bout that?

Speaking of aliens, what should we do with illegal aliens?

Get rid of them. They are aliens and they are illegal.

Give them a chance to become legal.

I don't know.

Welcome them with open arms.

Um... don't tell anyone, but I am an illegal alien.

Are you keen on kimonos?

Yuck, no. I only wear the latest fashions, not dusty old stuff like that.

Yes, but I only wear one on special occasions.

Traditional stuff like that is cool, but I don't have a kimono.

Yes! I like to wear kimonos in combination with blue jeans, fake Maori tatoos, and Turkish hats!

Kimo-what now?

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