The 19th-Century Baltimore Orioles Nickname Generator

Enter your first and last Christian birth designation, if such knowledge survived the Battle of Antietam, and find out what your nickname/nom de guerre would be, were you to have plied your trade with the 19th-Century Baltimore Orioles. The operating assumption is that you're generally furious about your station in life, the disloyal opposition across the diamond, and this thing deep in the chest that feels increasingly like a fatal catarrh.