Isaac Newton

I feel like cake.. ouch! Oh, all right. Apple crumble it is then.

Albert Einstein

Time slows down the faster you go. Modern life is very fast indeed. Therefore I shall bake this cake for four and a half days. Later, I shall butter the underside of my tie.

Ptolemy

The cake sits in the microwave, see, and the microwave revolves around it..

Johannes Kepler

I'm tired of circular cakes. This one's going to be elliptical. Don't even think about complaining, or tomorrow, you're getting dodecahedral lasagne..

Galileo Galilei

The cake revolves. The microwave stays still.

The Catholic Church

The microwave revolves around the cake.

Galileo Galilei

The microwave revolves around the cake. Thanks be to God for this cake that I am still alive to eat.

William Herschel

You know, I think there's another cake back there.

NASA

This cake will cost you nine billion dollars. We deliver. Please allow fourteen years for delivery. If a currant malfunctions the cake may explode.
Update: The currants have been excluded from the cake-construction process due to undeclared Middle Eastern origins. No currants will be involved in the construction of NASA cakes. No currants have ever been involved in NASA cake construction.

European Space Agency

This cake will cost you nine million euros. We don't deliver.

Arthur C. Clarke

Today, cake.. tomorrow, a chain of bakeries, stretching far across the galaxy..

Carolus Linnaeus

I find the wide variety of cakes on offer bewildering. Someone should do something about it.

Dmitri Mendeleev

I couldn't agree more.

Maurice Halle

Can I help you with that cake?

Gregor Mendel

I have discovered if you combine the mixtures for madeira cake and fruit cake, there result a cake with no raisins, two cakes with some raisins, a fourth cake entirely composed of raisins, and a sudden influx of hungry visitors to the monastery.

Charles Babbage

I have spent ten years decoding the Vigenère cipher. I fear decoding my great-grandmother's fruitcake recipe will take me and my descendants until the end of time.

Stephen Hawking

If you bake a standard fruitcake of size y for 134.32 hours at a temperature of 702 Kelvin, it appears to turn into a black hole. As does much of the surrounding area. Interesting..

William Harvey

I have not yet been able to prove whether or not circulation of the currants occurs in cakes. Clearly, more samples are required.

Charles Darwin

In a million years, only the tastiest cakes will exist.

Leonardo da Vinci

17 January 1502. Dull day. Made a cake. Drew the cake. Made a flying device to carry the cake through the skies (NB: must get round to making this). Dissected the cake. Sketched out detailed schematic of cake. Bestowed schematic of cake with fire-hurling catapults of infinite range and unerring accuracy capable of destroying small mountains. Mused on the futility of war. Added cannons to schematic of cake. Bought socks.

Fred Hoyle

I find the whole idea of cake ludicrous. Utterly impossible. Good cake, this. Where was I? Oh yes. Cake. Ridiculous idea..

Alexander Fleming

The cake will be much better if you let it mature for a while.